DOOMED!

My dad told me my new haircut makes me look like a young Liza Minelli.



I'm fated forever to only love and be loved by gay men.

duped by my own expectations

One of my favorite things to do one weekend afternoon on occasion is head to the Eastern Market. For those of who who don't know it's a DC landmark offering vendors of all kinds - artists, a farmers' market, flea market, etc. Inside they also have a deli, butcher, pastry & cheese shop, etc.

I needed a soap dish for next to my kitchen sink. Not for soap, but for my scrub sponge. (You know, the one you use to scrub the counters. Because the dish sponge has to be a different one altogether. You know, right? Thank you, my OCD Anonymous supporters.)

I found a vendor with all kinds of colorful glass work - serving dishes, salsa dippers, probably some ash trays, and aha! soapdishes. I chose the chili peppers.

Cute, right? As I was paying her and she was wrapping my purchase I pictured this woman arriving early every weekend morning to set up her stand, her husband staying home and working sun up to sun down on his glass wares in their garage converted into his workshop.

Then I got home, satisfied post-purchase, and unwrapped my wares. I proceeded to the kitchen to wash my new glass sponge-holder (of course I was going to wash it before putting my sponge to rest on it!) It was sitting out all day - who knew for how many days!

Here's what I found on the back:

It's probably so loaded with lead I'll be dead in a year.

yuck

I am recovering from a wicked 24-hour stomach bug that hit Sunday in the middle of the night. Since Monday evening I've been surviving on dry Cheerios and crackers. Tonight on the way home from work I decided I was starving and feeling well enough that I could venture to some plain rice (woohoo!)

On a supermarket sweep a few weeks ago (I think I spent over $300 restocking my house for the first time since Christmas) I bought these things called Ready Rice from Uncle Ben's. I didn't realize what they were when I picked them up. It's a packet of rice that ready in 90 seconds by adding two tablespoons of water and heating. Nobody needs to make dinner that quickly.


I had a packet of plain brown rice on hand, but felt my body was craving some vegetables after my 24-hour cleanse followed by two days of fasting (Not that what's in here could possibly count even as half a serving of veggies for a child, even.) so I ventured for the Garden Vegetable variety.

I've never owned a cat but the sensation that struck me as I tore open the pouch and squeezed the slightly moist, clumpy contents into the skillet was that of feeding a pet feline.

I think I'll donate the other two pouches in my pantry. And take the 10 minutes to cook the boil-in-bag brown rice from now on.