Spent a lot of time at the vet's today, talking to the Dr. The outlook was grim no matter what. I knew that. I mean, even if the tumor in her abdomen is removable, the rest of her body is still 100 years old. And she had so many other things going on.
I didn't get to do what I wanted -- which was spend hours laying with her telling her how much she was loved and then cook and feed her a NY strip steak. But I thought even one more night would be cruel to her.
I'm going to spread her ashes in the woods behind my parents' house, where I used to sneak off to as a teenager with her (then a puppy), and where my dad took her for long walks when they kept her when I went to Australia. Great memories, a wonderful dog. She'll be coming back as a queen of a very rich nation.
I'm wearing one of my Mom's favorite shirts for comfort -- one she wore all the time the year before she died. It's a horrible cotton/poly blend from KMart, but somehow it feels like cashmere.
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